A nuts story

Sandra visited New York many years ago, and went to see a show called "Witness the great Schnabel demonstrate his masculinity". The show consisted amongst other things of Schnabel, an exceptionally well-equipped man, crushing three walnuts, whacking them with his manhood.

Sandra did not come back to the Big Apple until forty years later, and to her surprise there was a fresh poster of the great Schnabel. She went again, and Schnabel, now a bit lined and grey, performed his acts, only this time he used coconuts instead of walnuts.
Sandra had to know, so she went backstage to ask him why the change. "Well," Schnabel said, "the ol' eyesight is not what it has been, you know."